Time Passing, Passing Time

The project on the kitchen counter right now is root beer. Munchkin boy has been talking about Ginger Bugs and fermentation and he filled the house, this past weekend, with a smell that carried me back to Boothill Museum in Dodge City where you could take a seat at the bar and order a sarsaparilla.

The project on the kitchen table involves black spray paint, old photo frames that now look shiny and new, and covers of classic books. Munchkin #1 has been redecorating her room again, inspired by the recent library book sale.

My projects include putting together a proof of Meadowlark's second book, and beginning the edits for Meadowlark's third book. If all goes as planned, we will have five books published by the end of the year (4 of them 2015). That's a good year, I think, for a start.

This past weekend we three at-home-bodies had a Harry Potter movie marathon party, but we only made it through the first two movies. That's a lot of movie watching, even for a rainy Sunday. We've had a lot of rain this past week. The nights have been cool enough we've had to kick the heater back on to get up and about in the mornings.

We've heard from the travelers a few times. When they call at night (our morning) they sound exhausted -- good exhausted. When they call in the morning (our night) they sound raring to go. They've moved, via bullet train, from Beijing to Xi'an. Those two locations are now permanently etched in my mental map of the world.

Tonight we will attend a play at the university, As You Like It. We are eagerly anticipating our trip to the airport to pick up the travelers. It will be good to have us all crowded into one location again!

Two Family Members Short

I'm feeling very much like our German Shepherd, counting family members, worried that some of us are missing. This has been her routine since the beginning of time with us. If anyone is missing, she paces the house, nudging each of us with her nose as if trying to ascertain whether or not she is losing it, or if there really is someone missing.

Nancy (the German Shepherd) seems a bit sad that her boy is gone (that would be my hubby = her boy). She is spending lots of time sleeping on the floor by his side of the bed. It's only been three days and she's stopped counting. She's simply depressed. There is no doubt. They aren't anywhere. She's checked the whole house.

Middle Munchkin and the Hubby, off on their Grand Adventure.

I, however, have turned toward my daughter's bedroom door at least once each day. Sometimes it's a question I want to ask her. Sometimes I just want to see her smiling face. "Come out of your room," I almost say, before I remember that she's off on her Grand Adventure. I am not depressed in the least. I can look at the calendar. I understand that they are coming back. My job is to simply come to terms with my moment. I am not adventuring this round, just eagerly awaiting their return and their stories!

The Grand Adventure is a 16th year event in our house. Our oldest planned her trip to England and Scotland in 2012 (and I got to go with her!). Middle Munchkin is now in China with her dad! I love to travel, and I've spent most of my life wishing I could travel outside of the US, as well. My kids kind of prompted me to stop wishing. It's about planning. It's about deciding what is important and making it happen.

This trip to China will mean that our kitchen doesn't get the new flooring it needs this year. Our second bathroom may never happen. Our "new" car is a 1999, one year newer than the "old" one. I still dream about those things from time to time, but when I think of the stories she is going to tell when she gets back from this trip, I don't mind the old car, or sharing a bathroom with 4 other people, or having a crappy looking kitchen floor covered with a "temporary" linoleum we put down several years ago to hide what needed replaced.

Life is about experiences. Dreaming is only fun when dreams come true. We have the power to make our dreams come true. I hope my children grow up believing that above all else.

April Entry at home/school/life

Sorting through Subjects in an Everything-is-Connected Manner of Homeschooling is the title of my April entry at home/school/life. Here's a bit:

Our family takes an “everything is connected” approach to life, but some people prefer to break the world into subjects, perhaps for the sake of being thorough (or because the setting of school requires it of them). It gives you more of a checklist approach to life. Have we done our math today? Have we practiced reading? Have we learned to spell a few words today? Have we spent some time with nature, making sure we are learning about the way of the world? Have we contemplated cultures, people, or methods of governing?

These are all things we encounter daily, and the flow of life naturally takes us there.

Coming from a subject-oriented education myself, I found it surprisingly hard to turn it into words my nine-year-old, unschooled kid could relate to.

Family Project: Let's Make a Movie!

So there was a contest held locally for short movies/films. The hubby was intrigued, and next thing I now, he's talking to the kids about joining him for a project. We were unable to participate in the actual contest, but we did spend a weekend putting together our own movie, trying to follow the same guidelines just to see if it was something we could do. Who knew that you could spent 6 or 7 hours to get 35 minutes of recorded video that results in 3 minutes of completed film?

Without further ado, I bring you our family's first foray into video making and editing. We have a lot to learn, but we did have fun.

St. James Day -- A Day in the Life

I've been reading day-in-the-life farm pieces and was inspired. I used to journal our days frequently when the kids were little. It feels a lot harder to do these days! Since I selected, St. James Day, however, it is an unusual day to document. It is something of a ritual, a family holiday, bowing to the basketball enthused portion of our family (and extended family)...

6:00am: The hubby and I rolled out of bed for our morning walk. Munchkin Boy joined us. We are currently walking a 2-mile route to the university and back.

Conversation on the walk:

• The state of Kansas government (depressing), school funding, and the status of homeschooling laws in our state
• Virulent expansion, Japanese history, and China constructing islands
• Munchkin Boy told us about his Groundhog Day moment while playing Fallout 3

7:00am: Munchkin Boy and I tag-teamed the dishes/dish drainer. Everyone made breakfast individually. Munchkin Boy looked up Dagen H on wikipedia (the day traffic in Sweden switched from driving on the left to the right).

7:40am: Hubby and Munchkin Boy discuss umlauts. Quote of the day: "Let me make up some German words for you." This leads to a lengthy discussion about the German language, hubby's background in language study. Munckin #1 joins us.

8:00am: MB watches The Co-Optional Lounge where they were playing a table top game simulator.

8:30am: I leave MB with the task of preparing 7-layer dip for our gathering with friends this afternoon. I leave instructions for Middle Munchkin to collect and clean out our cooler (to carry food to the gathering).

Munchkin #1, Hubby and I leave the house in three different vehicles. We are headed for the same location, but have plans to leave separately.

8:40am: M1 sends a thank you note for a scholarship she will receive next school year. I then help her find some documents she needs for an application. (This requires a trip home. I had put them in a safe place! I hate when I do that...)

9:15am: I get a call from hubby that there are people at the market office who are waiting to meet with me. I have just place hands on the above-mentioned documents, so I rush back to the office. After the market meeting, I work on billing for hubby's office until it's time to go.

10:45am: Hubby and I lock up the office and head home. We are gathering at a friend's house for St. James Day and must leave by 10am to get there on time.

10:50am: Arrive home to find the kids ready to go (not Munchkin #1, she has decided to attend her classes and enjoy the rest of her day at home alone.

11:25am: We are on the road. I can't explain it. Even though everyone was ready, it seems to take a while to get into the car and on the road.

Conversation for the car ride:

• Who am I kidding, it is St. James Day and there is a game during the drive. The car ride is spent listening to basketball.

12:55am: Arrive at our destination, perfectly on time for the 1ish start time of our St. James Day party. We are joined by four of our "community dinner" families... kind of an intentional set of gatherings that grew from our once full and active homeschool playdate group.

What follows is several hours of good conversation, a taco bar meal, and folks watching basketball games on television. The kids play board games, some actual basketball in the driveway, and alternate hanging out with the talkers and the television watchers. They are older and there certainly aren't as many kids joining us this St. James Day as there have been in the past, but in many ways this afternoon is just like old times.

6pm(?) or something after: We say our goodbyes and make the long drive home again.

Once home, hubby and I enjoy listening as the kids catch up. I think Munchkin #1 may have missed us a bit. 

Sharing My Experiences with Unlimited Screen Time

My latest post for Home/School/Life has been up since Monday and is getting many shares. I expected it to hit home with a lot of homeschooling parents, and among those who unschool especially. I've been pleasantly surprised by the positive feedback I've gotten from outside the homeschool community. Colored, as it may be, by the fact that many are people who know my kids personally and can attest to the fact that they are decent, upstanding, contributing members of society.

Received my first negative response to it today, which was clearly a gut reaction, probably not even someone who fully read the piece. Honestly, I'm a little surprised it took so long. I'm going to take it as a sign that I'm finally starting to speak out enough. If I'm getting enough attention to reach beyond the obvious cheerleaders and folks who are looking for discussion and ideas, I'm putting my time to better use than when I was just talking about it all to myself.

Here's the link, and here's the teaser.

"...our family ended up taking a little different path. My desk soon had two computers. My kids had the option of working alongside me, or going out to play, or doing any of the myriad of activities they spent their time doing, pretty much any time and for as long as they wished. My kids reached for a keyboard and a mouse probably as often as they reached for building blocks and crayons."

And this would be a good time to add that if you haven't checked out what Home/School/Life has to offer, you should check it out now. It's a beautifully constructed, very thoughtful little e-magazine with a growing audience of thoughtful, seeking parents who seem to be truly interested in the exchange of ideas and in supporting each other in this journey (raising kids/growing as parents/whatever you want to call it).

Family Night

A Family Night Game, created by my son. It was a fairly

complex nation-building type of game, and we enjoyed it, 

(though we did end the evening by giving him feedback and 

ideas for improving the game). I think we will be 

playing it again.

 One unfortunate side effect of homeschooling is that since you (the parent) spend a lot of time immersed in hands-on activities with your kids, you sometimes forget to make time for ... well, "non-productive" time with your kids.

I'm not sure that's exactly what I'm trying to say...

We have three kids, fairly close in age. For many years I was the primary parent at home, and then for several years, my husband and I kind of juggled a half and half schedule. One of us was always with the kids (clearly, not always AT home), and both of us were working and/or pursuing a law degree (him), for instance. Whatever the schedule, we kept in mind that our decision to keep our kids at home remain central to the way we spent our time as a family.

As the kids got older, the schedule gradually grew more complex and involved to manage. We aren't the go-go-go family that I often see in others, though sometimes it feels like it. We spend a lot of time coordinating schedules, especially now that each of the kids has their own agendas and activities. I have to admit to occasionally longing for those blissful days with three little ones who were more or less content to travel in a pack to whatever it was we were doing for the day.

More than once in this journey, however, my husband and I have stopped and said, "Wait a minute. When is the last time we just all hung out together?"

We've often had rituals we've called "family time" as the kids were growing up. My oldest and I were talking just this week about the time we used to spend with Grandma Jo when my oldest was little. Every Friday we would take the kids to Grandma Jo's apartment along with a pepperoni pizza. She had confessed to my husband once that she missed going out for pizza. That was a family time ritual that we carried on for several years, but it passed all too quickly.

We've kept "date nights" with the kids, both individually and together over the years. I have to say of all the time I spend with my children, my favorite moments often come from this time we have set aside just to hang out together, play together, and visit.

Currently, for the last 3-4 years perhaps, we have had a standing weekday date with the family, at the moment it is Wednesday evenings. This time was originally dubbed "no [electronic] media" night, though over time it has evolved and we've been known to incorporate movies, television, and video games into the evening. Last week we went to a play at the university. The two weeks before, we gathered at the kitchen table and worked on collages, a kind of inspirational art night.

One evening we spent playing GeoGuesser on our brand new, big screen television. Often we will play board or card games. We spent a few months last year playing Dungeons and Dragons. The range of activities is fairly wide and our commitment to keeping an evening free on the calendar has remained fairly strong.

It is true that every moment is an opportunity, and sometimes the best opportunities appear when you stop trying to make sure your time is productive and full. Good for individuals to remember, and good for families, too.

Take some time to just hang out this week. No pressure. No schedule. Just time together.

And just like that, they grow up...

So it hit me today. I mean, really hit me. A few tears, even.

I have an adult child.

Not of drinking age yet, but legally an adult. Nearly a year in, as a matter of fact. How has this taken so long to sink in?

She has been talking about leaving home... I guess it has all been theoretical until today.

Don't get me wrong. I'm entirely supportive. I can't wait to see where she goes and what she does. I think she will have a marvelous time. It just hit me, that if she leaves home to do it--to live this wonderful life and reach and explore and figure out her place in the word--I'm not going to have that touching base thing going on every day.

She'll be fine.

But man, I am going to miss her.

I swear, just yesterday....

February Entry at Home/School/Life

Too many good intentions! Too much going on. This short month has gotten away without me.

Now that it's almost time for March, here's a link to my February entry at Home/School/Life:

Woulda, Coulda, Shoulda – Homeschooling Better, After the Fact

An excerpt:

"And as I’m being honest, I have to remember that any bit of arm twisting I might have done to prepare her for this test before it was important to her, wouldn’t have done much good anyway. It wasn’t in our repertoire, me making unilateral decisions about what we were going to study and why. Our focuses have always been a team effort. My role has been to participate, assist, and sometimes stay out of the way."

What Being a Homeschooler is Actually Like

This one actually entertained me. Click here. (link to Buzz Feed)

Do More of What Makes You Happy

January Entry at Home/School/Life

I nearly forgot to link my entry from this month's Home/School/Life. You can find it here.

“Can we build a wall?” the members of my family asked. “Would it remain standing? Could we put an actual door in it?”

From the Archives: Spelling Lessons

First published at Inside My Head, Friday, October 17, 2008

My son is prepping for his birthday. He says he wants lots of stuff on his list so that he will be surprised with what he ends up with.

"How do you spell, remote control airplane?" he asks.

R

R. Dad's letter. That's just like a K. Only you close up the top.

E

You know how I know E? It's easy to remember even though it's not in my name. It's my sister's name. Why are some E's at the end of words silent. Why do they put silent letters in at all? What's the point?

M

I always mix Ms up with Ns. And I forget. Is it up down up down up down up, or just up down up down? You can write M and N together and just go up down up down up down up.

O

O's are easy. I could just write zero too and you wouldn't know the difference.

T

Huh?

T -- my letter.

T. That's right. Have I been writing capital letters or small letters?

E

What if we just left that off?

It would be a remot rather than a remote.

Really? adds the e

New word -- C

Should I start here or on a new line. I guess I've been writing too big. After this word I will start writing smaller. looks to me in expectation

C

Like an O, but not closed on the side.

O

writes an O

N

How would you spell N?

N

No, I mean, how would you spell the sound, N? Like if you were writing the word, in.

I-N as in I put it in the basket, or E-N makes the sound as in enough or entry

T

I forget T again.

My letter -- T.

Oh right. T. T. Tracy. Tent. T. T. T. Ttttttaaaaallllll.

R

How long do light bulbs last? Do you think we could make our own light bulbs? I want to make a new doll house and put wires in it. Or maybe a real fire place. Could I put a real fire in my house?

I'm not sure a real fire in a shoe box house would be a good idea.

What if I put it in a glass jar? Are we done?

You have written "remote cont."

What's next?

R

What's R?

Dad's letter. Like a K, but with the top closed.

Oh right. R. R. R. R. Does Rand start with R?

Yes.

That's what R sounds like. Rrrrrr. Rand. Rrrrr. Rrrrr.

O

Do you spell O with a silent E? No, it's not an E. What is it? When you say O, you spell it with an...

H?

Yeah. H. I just don't get those silent letters.

L

I'm going to start writing smaller. See how small I can write?

...

3 words, 33 minutes. We're getting there.

Driving Lessons, a Mom’s View from the Passenger’s Seat

My new entry is up at home/school/life. You can run right over and read the whole thing here.

I would like to say that after so many years of unschooling, it is easy now to trust, to embrace the sometimes jerky starts and stops, the sudden braking when you thought you were accelerating and vice versa. I would like to claim I have learned better, but I am still guilty of embracing those old straight roads of my past. I am tempted to say to my son, “Just let me take you there. I will do the hard part. I’ll keep driving; you just tell me where you want to go.”

Found in the Archives

"Back when I used to believe I was an alien..." my son said.

I was glad he brought it up, because I've often wondered what he remembers of the elaborate tales he used to tell us of the "planet he came from" before he joined us. He was in the 3-5 age range when he would tell these stories.

First, I had to ask if he actually believed he was an alien. 

He said, "Oh no. I just liked to imagine that I was and tell stories about it. But, I did used to think that when I closed my eyes and saw those green circles that it meant I was important and doing something really special to fulfill my destiny. Then I realized that’s just what you saw if you rubbed your eyes real hard. Now I think I’m important for other reasons.”

He wouldn't elaborate, but I was entertained.

Directions to Some Excellent Posts about Math

I need to take the time to sort my own thoughts and experiences with math, both for myself and for my children, but if you are unschooling (or homeschooling) -- which I assume you are if you have arrived here -- I highly recommend that you take the time to run (not walk) over to Laura Grace Weldon's blog and read...

1) Math Instruction versus Natural Math: Benezet's Example

and

2) The Benefits of Natural Math

Call that my linky-love for the week.

A Bedtime Free House

Last night the kids watched a movie after their dad and I went to bed. This is not unusual. The kids have been setting their own bedtimes since they were wee little. We've only had one rule from the beginning. If you are going to stay up late -- or at least past the point that other people in the house have begun to go to bed -- you just have to be respectful that others are sleeping. Staying up is fine. Keeping up people who would prefer to be sleeping is not.

I can barely recall maybe a handful of times when they were younger that I had to get up and say something to them about being too loud. Occasionally things would get rowdy when they had friends over, but even then, it seems like the kids were as likely to get things quieted down on their own as need my help.

The girls still share a room and it has only been since the oldest started college that I've heard grumbles between them about when the lights were turned out. The last time it came up, the oldest agreed that if she still had studying she wanted to do once her sister wanted to go to bed, she'd bring her stuff down to the kitchen table to work.

The only times I have made suggestions about bedtimes were when something was going on the next day that required us to be up and out of the house earlier than usual. And even then I always offered it as a suggestion. We have never had arguments about bedtime in our house. I have three teens that go to bed, most often, at what seems like fairly reasonable hours to me. They get up on their own. And they are pretty good at recognizing when they are sleep deprived and they take responsibility for fixing it.

Throughout this past summer, and it seems much of last winter, as well, the kids (often all 3 of them) joined my husband and I for our early morning walks, 3 days a week. This meant they were rolling out of bed at 5 am most mornings. Now I must admit here, that I had strongly encouraged each of them to find some physical activity that they enjoyed doing. As they'd gotten older, we were spending far less time at the park and playing outside. The recreation classes that they had once enjoyed participating in were no longer quite so plentiful for their age group. I admit, I was concerned that they were becoming couch slugs.

So we had given them a parental speech about maintaining an active lifestyle, and had told them that they could join us on morning walks until they figured out what they preferred to do. I was surprised, quite frankly, that it stuck. They, in fact, were quite often better about getting up and around in the morning than I was. Our morning walks became even more regular. For a long stretch while the weather was nice, we were walking 5 days a week!

This past week we've had morning temperatures in the single digits and head colds running through the ranks. The coordinated morning rise time has been disrupted. I'm starting my day with a few minutes of alone time. It feels like it has been many years since that has happened.

Last night, the kids stayed up and watched a movie. As I drifted off to sleep, I heard them talking and laughing. It must have been a scary movie. I woke up later to a shriek, followed by much louder talking and laughing. My husband set up in bed and called the kids in. They quieted immediately, and it was kind of funny to see them sheepishly gather in the doorway. Or maybe that was just a memory of days gone by. I am pretty adept at closing my eyes and drifting off again, but I heard the oldest one say, "I know. You're sleeping. We'll be quiet."

Raising Writers

My post on Raising Children Who Love to Write went up at home/school/life today. I had difficulty focusing that piece enough for a blog post. When it comes to the subject writing, I guess I can write and write and write!

The fun part in preparing that piece was going back to look at my notes on what the kids were doing over the years. I'm sharing some of those journal entries here.

Journal entries on writing…(ages added)

Middle Munchkin (age 3) started drawing stick people this week. These people have circle heads with stick bodies. Her drawings of people looked like balloons blowing in the wind, but the balloons had eyes, noses, and big smiles. She assured me they were people.

***

Munchkin #1 (age 4) tells me stories and I type them. I break the story into scenes and print the pages for her, with room for illustrations. We read the sentences together and she draws the pictures.

***

Munchkin Boy (age 6) says he doesn’t need to know how to write anything but his name. At this point, that’s the letter, K. “What if you need to write something else, like a grocery list?” I asked. He said I could write it for him.

***

Middle Munchkin (age 8) started writing a new Harry Potter story this week. She says she can barely read her handwriting from the one that she was working on last year.

***

Munchkin #1 (age 10) is still working on her story. She hasn’t asked me to read it in quite some time. Middle Munchkin, however, has been reading it and she loves it. In the car the other day, she said to Munckin #1, “It makes me feel like I’m watching it. It’s really good. I love it.”

***

We had a conversation about using spellcheck on the computer. Munchkin #1 (age 10) asked if I thought it was okay for her to use spellcheck to correct her work. I said, “Absolutely, it’s a tool and you should learn to use it!” Then she told me she did use it, but it felt a bit like cheating. I find it interesting that she uses a word that I so strongly associate with school and school work. I don’t think we’ve ever talked about cheating before, though I suppose she’s come across the idea in other places, television and conversations with friends.

***

Munchkin Boy's handwriting (age 11) is not neat, but his spelling is superb and he can get his point across. When he types, I would say his composition is well beyond his years. He’s slack on things like capitalization and punctuation. He says taking the time to capitalize slows him down too much.

***

 Munchkin Boy (age 12) won first place in the 2013 Kansas Book Festival Contest. He entered an essay about Kansas stereotypes. His entry was titled, "Why do people think Kansas is flat in the first place?" It’s hard to admit that he’s getting paid more for writing than I am!

***

Middle Munchkin (age 13) continues her obsession with learning to write with her left hand. I can hardly tell the difference now if she writes with the left or the right. She sometimes practices mirror writing, as well -- both hands writing at the same time in opposite directions!

***

Munchkin #1 (age 15) is keeping a journal. She doesn’t share it with me, but I know that she is writing in it pretty much daily. She says this is one of the things she most enjoys about our current routine. Together we have been working on the mechanics of writing. Most of the time, this is me providing paragraphs of text that she edits. Sometimes we use worksheets we find online, but I enjoy creating my own. She does very well at this. She will usually pick out every single error, from punctuation to spelling.

***

I found out yesterday that Middle Munchkin (age 15) signed up for one of those Coursera courses. For a couple of weeks now she has been taking a beginning college composition class. I had no idea. I don’t know how I missed it. When I asked her about it, she said, “You sent us that link and said there might be some stuff there we’d be interested in. I really want to learn to write well, so I signed up for it.”

***

Munchkin #1 (age 18) asked me to review a paper she had written for her honors composition class this morning. It was a last-minute request for a quick review before she submitted the piece to her instructor. I found one misspelled word (a word spelled correctly, but not the word she was going for). I suggested she rein in her frequent use of semicolons. “I know,” she said. “I just really love semicolons.”

***

The Seamstress

Middle Munchkin sews. She's very good at it. Some days it spooks me, how good she is, because she reminds me sooooo much of my mother (the grandmother that she never knew). My mom was an incredible seamstress. She made a lot of my clothes when I was a kid. Most of them, in fact, until I was probably 7 or so. She made ALL of my dressy clothes, including prom dresses, bridesmaid dresses, and eventually my wedding dress.

Technically, I learned to sew as a kid. Mom sent me to a neighbor to take lessons one year because she was not happy with the progress I was making under her tutelage. My memory of sewing lessons is that the woman had a machine you ran with your knee rather than a foot pedal. It kept sticking and the machine would take off crazily stitching across my fabric. I think the neighbor thought I was a reckless seamstress. She didn't seem to believe me that the knee-thing was sticking. I think, perhaps, she thought I was trying to get out of sewing lessons.

Middle Munchkin started sewing in 4-H, and for the first three or four years she worked with a woman here in town who is incredibly generous with her resources and time. She sewed at home, as well, and when my dad caught on to her interest he bought her a very nice sewing machine at an auction. I remember the first thing she made at home without her sewing mentor because I mustered all the patience I have in the world and I sat with her and helped her read the pattern.

Reading patterns can be hard. They aren't always well written and often skip steps. I'm pretty sure they are written, more often than not, by non-native English speakers... or maybe even translated by computer programs without any human editing.

Good instructions or not, sewing has always made me tense. I find it stressful. Even helping... just in the form of reading the pattern... made me occasionally want to bang my head against the table, but I managed to get through it (and really, I was just reading... she was doing all of the really nerve-wracking stuff). Middle Munchkin just kept sewing... and kept sewing... and I was so relieved when she no longer needed my help reading patterns.

She eventually started creating patterns of her own.

At 16, my daughter is an amazing, accomplished seamstress. I'm pretty sure her skill is equal to my mother's, and I have no way to explain it except that she is given the gift of being allowed to embrace her flow.

Flow is something I've learned a lot about as an adult (as a writer, and in many of the day-to-day activities that fill my time). I spent several years of my adult life, in fact, reclaiming the ability to simply slip into this state of being, most often of creating something, any time that I am so moved. I don't find flow in sewing, but my daughter does. When she is involved in a project, she sometimes spends most of the hours of the day working on it. There have been weeks where very little else was accomplished.

This week, I watched my daughter take her scissors to someone's wedding dress! The very thought absolutely tied me up in knots inside, but Miss Middle Munchkin was calm, cool, and confident. It was a "simple" adjustment (she assures me), turning a zippered back to a corset back. She worked quickly, and the result was beautiful.

I think one reason this sticks with me is that my mom, who was the most talented seamstress I knew before my daughter, was always nervous about taking on important occasion projects, like wedding dresses. In fact, she mostly refused, except when it came to her daughters and, eventually, daughters-in-law. Too much pressure, she once told me. What if she messed something up?

Sewing is something Middle Munchkin has always had the power to chose or leave behind. She chooses how much, how involved, how many drafts she is going to create before tackling the final project. She's had the benefit of a mentor whom she will occasionally still go to if she has a question, but she is just as likely to Google for help these days, or simply keep reworking a piece until she gets exactly what she wants from it.

I think about Mom often when I watch my daughter sew, and I imagine how much fun she would have had coming up with projects to work on with this grandchild. It feels to me like something they share, even though they never knew each other.

Now Blogging at Home / School / Life

Be sure to check out Home / School / Life Magazine where I am now a member of the blog team. I look forward to posting monthly notes there about life with teen/young adult unschoolers.

I still plan to write here, as well. More frequently, perhaps?

A Prideful Confession

Munchkin #1 is trying out college. She is half way through week two and it still feels a little strange. Strange to me, as Mom, anyway. We made it through 18 years without any type of formal schooling and now she's jumped in with both feet. She's got a daily schedule with someone else making recomendations for how she fills her time for several hours each day. I wasn't sure she was going to tolerate the lack of freedom for the first few days, but she seems determined to give it at least a semester's try.

I have to admit that I've encountered a few moments of anxiety, but mostly I've struggled with what probably amounts to excessive pride. I have resisted the desire to say, "pblttttt... I told you so," to those who may have suggested a time or two that I couldn't possibly know that she was learning what she was supposed to know because, you know, I didn't have tests and worksheets and drills to back it up. I've also resisted (well, I guess up until this moment) the urge to yell, "In your face!" regarding the ACT benchmark test scores recently reported for our state. And yes, I'm ashamed for counting and keeping track at all.

I don't know that she's going to have an altogether easy time with school, but I know she will do fine if she decides college is where she wants to be. And if/then, she'll be fine with whatever else she decides, as well. I honestly can't imagine what that might be, at the moment, but I do trust she will fill me in as the time is right. In the meantime, I find myself missing her at odd moments, and being filled with a kind of overwhelming giddiness when it is almost time for her to be home again. I am trying to resist the urge to beg for all the details of her day.

There's something very satisfying about seeing her take these steps, however, and I know that we have turned a parent/child corner. There's no going back. She's a young woman. She's full of confidence. She's trying things out. She makes my heart swell with pride.

Then again, I guess that's nothing new.